In real estate (and really, in any kind of industry), we’re often way too quick to jump into negotiation mode. A buyer shows interest, a seller sets expectations—and before we know it, we’re neck-deep in price talk, counter-offers, and ticking clocks. But here’s the thing: negotiation stalls when motivation isn’t clear.

That might sound obvious, but it’s a truth too many agents forget in the heat of the deal. Before you start talking numbers, concessions, and terms, you need to step back and ask yourself—and your client—what’s really driving this decision?

The Power of the “Why”

Let’s say a buyer wants to make an offer. Great! But before diving into the details, try asking this simple, high-impact question:

“What is it about this property that has it at the top of your list?”

Then get curious:

  • What do they love about the street?
  • What stands out about the neighborhood?
  • Can they picture their family living here long term?

When you ask questions like these, something powerful happens: they start selling the property back to themselves. They re-engage with the emotional reasons they’re even in this conversation. And guess what? That emotional investment is your secret weapon in keeping the deal alive and moving.

It Works Both Ways

And sellers? Same principle. It’s rarely just about the money.

A seller isn’t cashing out for the sake of watching zeroes grow in their bank account. They’re doing it to move closer to family, or to trade down to something easier to manage. They may just also want to take that long-awaited leap into a new business, or  probably freeing up funds to help their kids get a start in life.

The sale is a means to something more important.

So instead of jumping into hardball tactics, take a moment and find out:

  • What are they hoping to do next?
  • What’s prompting the sale now?
  • What’s the real reason behind the timing?

Understanding their “why” reframes the whole conversation. It creates alignment. It builds trust. And suddenly, you’re not just negotiating a price—you’re helping them take the next step in their journey.

Motivation Before Negotiation

In summary, prioritising motivation before negotiation—can be the difference between a deal that drags and one that moves decisively.

So, next time you feel the urge to dive into the numbers, pause. Get curious. Go deeper.

Because once you tap into what really matters to your client, the negotiation almost takes care of itself.

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